


Screwed Up

by AngelWars, evabellasworld29



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Humor, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-07
Updated: 2020-09-07
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:49:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26335177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngelWars/pseuds/AngelWars, https://archiveofourown.org/users/evabellasworld29/pseuds/evabellasworld29
Summary: Suffering from nightmares, Echo tried his best to compose himself while Fives and Yara decided to help him.
Relationships: CT-21-0408 | Echo & CT-27-5555 | Fives | ARC-5555
Kudos: 5





	Screwed Up

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! 
> 
> Here is a short story that was written by Eva and I! This one took a couple of days, and now we are ready to share it with you all for your reading pleasures! 
> 
> The original character (Yara) belongs to Eva btw!
> 
> Yara is a female clone trooper that was cloned from Jango Fett's adoptive sister, Krystal Mereel (also my oc). She was known to be the sleepyhead in the 501st and often forgetful, despite being an ARC Trooper. She gets alongs very well with Fives and Echo.
> 
> Please enjoy our short story!!

Fives, Echo, and many of their vode fell asleep under the guise of the night. Fives was driven to near madness thanks to Hardcase, always the thoughtful one. Hardcase made sure to drive Fives totally bonkers all the way until it was time for bed. Echo had to be the one to shoo away the crazy bastard. 

Fives thanked his fellow ARC before he turned over, facing the wall, and began to fall asleep. Although, something kept him up before he really fell into a deep suspension of consciousness. 

Echo had been acting very strange lately. Strange as in very tired. Fives did notice close up that his vod got very aggressive or easily irritated whenever someone asked him too many questions or it was too loud or someone was bothering him. All-day he was like that. Fives tried to brush off the odd behavior best he could, but it was very difficult. 

He stared at the ceiling, or the bottom of the top bunk, and slowly allowed sleep to take over. His eyelashes fluttered shut, and he knew no more. 

... 

Fives woke up, not knowing why. Something woke him up. It wasn't a specific sound, or someone calling his name, and it wasn't the terrible smell of sweaty armpits. He couldn't put his finger on it. However, he was definitely put on edge now that he woke up for a reason only his body knew judging by the tingling in his arms and legs. ARC troopers were trained to remain vigilant at all times even when they were sleeping. Fives' brain told him that something was wrong and he needed to wake up. Fives listened to his surroundings. He heard his other vode sleeping within the room, the ventilation system bustling, and the squeaking sound of the bed above him moving. 

_ Oh, Echo's awake? _ Fives shrugged. _ He's probably about to go take a piss or something _ -

That's when he froze. His ears barely missed the soft sound of a sob from up above and quick, shuddering intakes of oxygen. 

_ The hell? _ Fives sat up quickly and poked his head out from under the top bunk's overcasting gaze so then he could look up at his vod.

"Echo? Are you okay?" Fives asked. 

No answer. That was concerning.  _ Great. _

Echo hugged his knees as he sobbed quietly, trying not to wake his brothers. Memories of what happened at the Rishi outpost still haunt him, even in his sleep. Lately, it got worse and worse, making him jump from his bed. 

Hearing Fives's voice, he kept quiet, hoping he would go away eventually. He doesn't want Fives involved in this, as he doesn't like to bring burden to his brother. If he had to suffer, he would want to suffer alone. 

Fives noticed he went silent or forced himself to stay quiet.  _ Nope, can't have that. Not tonight.  _ Echo always had nightmares. It happened often, and they were spaced out from time to time a year ago, but now they were so close together that Fives could quickly realize Echo was crying. 

Echo's crying usually got worse on the anniversary of the Rishi Moon Base attack. Fives tried to help him and he was quickly shooed away every time. 

The older ARC trooper scooted his way out of his bed and he stood up on the bars under his feet.  _ Slowly does it. _ He thought to himself. Echo was clutching the sweaty, sticky black material on his chest and scrunched it up. Fives didn't know whether he should tap his knee or not. 

Touching him could cause problems. 

Echo let out a small whimper, his feet kicked out at the blankets in irritation. 

_ Shit. I don't think he's breathing right. _ Fives gritted his teeth. 

Echo's body trembled with giant tremors, and the sounds he made were heartbreaking. After losing most of his squad on Rishi, Echo had been blaming himself for not saving them. He should have been the one dead instead. Not Cutup, Droidbait, or Hevy. They deserved to live, and he didn’t. 

If he had done something, they would have lived instead, but no, they were dead, and he felt like it was his fault for letting them die. He didn't get to say goodbye to them. He didn't get to give them one last hug. He didn't even apologize for all the stupid fights that they had in the past.

_ This is all my fault, this is all my fault.  _ He whimpered. Fives' heart broke into a million pieces when his brother whimpered under his breath, "This is all my fault. This is all my fault." He may not have meant to do that. 

Fives shifted, looking over his shoulder to see if anyone had woken up. _ Good. Nobody's awake. _ Fives pulled himself up onto the top bunk with practiced ease and sat across from his panicking brother. 

Echo paid no mind to the movement. He was too upset to even care. Echo opened his mouth, sucked in some air, and then he groaned. 

Fives watched him. "Hey, buddy. You gotta try and breathe for me. Can you do that for me?" 

Echo shook his head from side to side. "I'm sorry for waking you up, Fives," he sniffled, burying his face between his knees. "You should just leave me for a while, you know."

"No can do, not when you are like this," Fives refused to leave him alone to possibly get worse. 

Tears poured from Echo's eyes in shame. He turned his head away and tucked himself against the wall on his left side. "I know I should have moved on from that incident but the nightmares kept coming back again and again."

"And that's okay, Echo. Really, it is." Fives offered a kind, warm smile.

Echo stared at the blankets under him. It was a black sea that could just swallow him up if it wanted to. Echo thought that would be better than having this conversation with Fives. 

"Echo? You shouldn't feel ashamed for feeling this way. You are grieving-"

Echo glared at him ferociously. Fives gulped. Okay. Maybe not the best thing to say. 

"Just leave me alone, Fives," he hissed, "and don't you dare say anything about the others." 

Fives' face scrunched up. "Echo, I am not leaving you here alone. I can help you."

Echo shook his head and turned the other direction completely, not wanting to see Fives in the corner of his eye. 

"Echo? Please?" Fives worried about his lower lip. 

Instead of acknowledging his brother, Echo turned his body around and scooted his way off the top bunk so he could escape and cry in peace. Fives startled at the sudden movement and watched as Echo walked—more like stumbled—away.

_ Dammit. Dammit!  _ Fives hopped off the bed after him. 

Echo rubbed his chest. He could feel his anxiety flourishing and twisting deep inside; pulling at his strings and yanking on them, tying them up into tight, tight knots. 

Fives quietly followed him to wherever he was going. 

Echo felt dizzy, minorly nauseous, and scared. He headed outside of the barracks, hoping he could get some fresh air and some time alone from his brother. Fives followed him out the barrack doors but he didn't get very far. Echo didn't look too good, but Fives knew that he wanted space. So, he stood by the door and watched him walk away, not wanting to be the reason why his anxiety exploded into a panic attack. 

Fives turned around and walked back into the dark barracks. He sat on the edge of his bed. In the corner of his eye, he realized that Echo had taken his commlink with him. Fives kept his own close to his side, just in case his brother called him for help.

  
  


* * *

  
  


Echo noticed a speeder parked underneath a lamp post and hopped on, driving away from the barracks. He flew around the Coruscanti city for a moment before heading to 79s, where his brothers and sisters would go after a battle. Echo wandered into 79s and immediately tucked himself into the most secluded corner of the club as possible. He did not want to socialize with anyone. He wanted to keep to himself and cry in peace, even though the room was kriffing loud as hell, he still felt a bit better being away from Fives; who was a physical, living reminder of what happened on Rishi Moon. 

The club music boomed loudly, thundering in Echo's eardrums. The music didn't help, not one bit. Echo rubbed his chest in deep circles and focused on his breathing technique. 

_ If I panic, then I'll have to call Fives. I don't want to! I can't! I need to calm down on my own. _

It may have already been too late to try to calm himself down. Echo was too close to the imaginary edge that led to a black ocean of devastation and sadness. 

The music...it reminded him of pillaging wars, and colorful, deadly explosions. He could hear his team—Domino squad—shouting his name. Echo paled. He slowly sunk down a bit and tucked his head on his arms, resting it on top of the table. His chest hurt terribly. 

Yara noticed her brother from afar. Her eyebrows drooped as she remembered what she's been through with the Domino Squad back on Rishi Outpost.

Taking a deep breath, she approached Echo and sat next to him, placing her hand on his back. 

"You alright, Echo?"

"N-No," Echo admitted to his sister. He realized there was a lot of sweat on his forehead, and he felt so dizzy. Maybe coming to 79s was a bad idea after all. "I've just been thinking way too much lately, and it's getting to me, ya know."

Yara nodded. 

"I-I...being here is making me feel really anxious," Echo spoke, "i th-th-think I am having a p-panic attack."

"Let's get you out of here," Yara said, taking him out of the bar, "it's not a good place for you to be right now."

She dragged him out of the bar, hoping he would feel better.

"I w-wanted to talk to Fives but I-I.." Echo paused, leaning against the nearest wall. Yara's hand followed his right shoulder. "Stars...I think I n-need to s-sit down," Echo whispered softly. 

He leaned more heavily against the brick wall and slid down the rough surface. Yara followed him down and shifted to sit in front of him. Echo closed his eyes against the bright street lights and focused on the pain in his chest and the tightness in his throat like someone had this vice grip around it.

”Just take a deep breath, Echo," Yara told him, "I know it's hard after what happened at the Rishi moon. We lost three members that night, and I know you blame yourself for that."

"It was a-all my fault, Y-Yara. I-I c-c-could've..." Echo pressed his back into the wall and gasped, "I-I c-could've s-s-saved Hevy, a-and Cu-Cutup, and...Mm, and 'B-Bait." 

Echo's breathing picked up its pace. His vision became blurry and tipped to one side, and then tipped to the other like he was on a move LAAT. 

"Hey, hey, it wasn't your fault," Yara squeezed his hand, "none of that was your fault, ever. Fives and I didn't blame you for what happened back there, you know."

"I don't know about F-Fives. I am s-scared that I f-failed him. I don't want to fail him, Yara. I can't. I can't. I can't," Echo continued to mumble 'I can't' like a broken record. 

He groaned in pain when his chest tightened up again for the umpteenth time that evening, but worse than before, breaking his delirious chanting. 

Echo stared down at his sister's hand. He didn't want to be alone. He was scared of himself and the truth, or at least what he believed happened. Tears poured from his eyes. His muscles trembled.

Yara’s eyes softened. "You didn't fail him, Echo. Fives cares so much about you. You guys are brothers. He would never stop caring about you."

Tears streamed down her cheeks when she saw her brother in this state. Being one of the three survivors from Domino Squad, Yara could only feel sorry for Echo, who suffered so much worse than her.

"It's going to be okay, Echo. I know it will, alright?" 

Echo attempted to stifle his sobs, but he could not. It hurt. Everything burned. He also felt like he was drowning at the same time, which should’ve doused the flames but it didn’t.

He curled into himself and sobbed into his knee in a desperate attempt to be quiet; because they weren't exactly far away from 79s and the public area. The last thing Echo wanted was for his vode to stumble upon this unfortunate moment where he was at his lowest point. 

He had his sister, yes, but he also wanted his brother here as well. 

"I-I-I w-want F-Fives. I n-need you. P-Please, Yara," Echo begged, a stuttering mess.

"Alright, I'll take you to Fives, okay?" she said, wiping his tears. "I know he'll understand. You can't do this alone, Echo. We're siblings and we helped each other, no matter what."

Echo smiled, it was more like a grimace. "T-Thank you. Thank you." 

With Yara's help, Echo stood up on shaky legs once again. He was afraid he would fall over or faint, so he kept an arm interlocked with Yara's. 

The two of them walked all the way over to the nearest speeder taxi stop, where one would hopefully pick them up soon and take them straight home to the 501st barracks. 

Echo's panic certainly didn't dissipate yet. His breathing was still shaky and a bit quicker than normal, but Yara's soft hand rubbing up and down his arm really helped him focus on trying to breathe correctly. As the speeder taxi stopped in front of them, Yara helped Echo get inside, her hand still wrapped around his.

The speeder took off after receiving its next destination. Yara glanced at Echo one in a while, checking whether he was alright. Echo stared out the window at the raindrops that had just started to fall from the beautiful heavens up above. Echo had always loved the sound of rain, especially on Kamino.

Kamino may have been ruled by the oppressive Kaminoans, but there was one good thing that came out of being raised on Kamino; the rain. The rain was most lovely. It was fresh. It was everything that Echo wanted to be—to be free. 

He pressed the left side of his face against the window, cool to the touch, and tried his best to be close to the rain. He felt warm tears flow with ease down his face. His hands clenched closed twice in an effort to keep his emotions at check whilst he was inside a cab. 

_ I don't want a citizen to see me cry. They can't witness a clone trooper crying. _ That was hard to keep from happening though. 

Echo felt his breathing pick up once again at the onslaught of distressing inner thoughts.  _ What if Fives does blame me? What if he won't talk to me? What if I don't believe a word he says? What if Yara is lying to me? _

So many what-ifs. 

Yara placed a steadying hand on his shoulder, which Echo barely felt. Adrenaline flowed through his bloodstream like a raging river. He couldn't breathe again.

"You alright, Echo?" she asked, noticing him watching the rainfall.

"No," Echo responded, forcing his voice to stabilize, "No, I am not." 

He shifted on the incredibly uncomfortable seat, unable to stay still. Dark thoughts infected his vulnerable mind. Echo slowly looked over at his sister and whimpered under his breath, trying to avoid the driver being able to hear him. 

"I-I-I c-can't b-breathe," Echo almost cried out for help.

Yara hushed him as she wrapped her arms around him, rubbing his back.

"Y-Yara? Y-Yara?" Echo repeated her name before wrapping one arm around his stomach. "Ugh," He groaned, pressing his face into the side of her neck. Echo took desperate intakes of air in, which wasn't much. The air could not be pushed back out. Echo was inhaling too quickly for his body to work through it.

Echo's hand grabbed onto Yara's side, with the material of her citizen clothing scrunched between his fingers.

"It's okay, just take a deep breath." Yara cooed.

"I-I do-don't think I c-can," Echo mumbled, wheezing slightly.

"Okay, okay," she massaged his shoulder, "just close your eyes and try to think of something that calms you down."

_ Rain. Rain calms me. _ Echo closed his eyes and imagined the rain, the clouds, and the electric, zone smell of thunderstorms.

Yara reached over and opened the window beside her brother so then his imaginary experience could be more involved with smells, sounds, and maybe even the feeling of rain as it splattered into the car and onto his face and hands.

Echo shivered when the cool air hit his face satisfyingly.  _ Oh yeah. _ Echo's lips nearly pulled up into a smile.  _ It's working.  _

Watching him smile, Yara couldn't help but be happy for him as well. The rain was what calms Echo down. It was what reminded him of where he came from. 

The two of them made it back to the 501st barracks without incident. Echo and Yara hopped out of the taxi and moved aside. Yara paid the driver, while Echo stared up at the barracks. It was a huge building that was dark on the outside, and it held hundreds of troopers who were fast asleep. This is the place that’s supposed to make Echo feel safe. 

Echo's hearing went out. He didn't even notice the taxi speeder driving away back towards the city again, and Yara coming up on his side.

"Come on, we should head inside," she suggested. "Fives must be worried about you."

Echo nodded. They walked inside the barracks with heavy steps. Echo fiddled with his fingers a couple of times nervously, not knowing how Fives will react to him leaving the barracks on his own, upset. Yara held his hand as they headed inside the barracks, careful not to wake the others.

"What if...what if it is as I feared?" Echo asked. 

"What is it that you fear?" Yara looked at him. 

"I fear that...h-he'll hate me, which I know is irrational thinking and maybe I should just stop thinking like that. I honestly can't though."

"Echo, Fives would never hate you. You two have been closed to each other since you were both cadets. He loves you so much, I know it." Yara reassured him with a warm smile.

Echo's brain scrambled at that. 

"I-I don't know, Yara." He mumbled, biting his lower lip anxiously.

"Trust me. I'm sure he's willing to forgive you for going out alone."

Echo gazed at his sister. He stared at the sparkle in her eyes, indicating that she truly believed what she was saying. Echo smiled to himself. 

_ Well. If she believes it, then so shall I. _

* * *

Echo and Yara approached the double doors belonging to the huge bunk's room, where most of their vode slept. Echo took a deep breath. 

"Can you go get him? I think we should talk somewhere else. Ya know?" Echo requested.

"Of course," Yara nodded.

She headed inside the bunk, noticing Fives on his bed. Snickering to herself, she sat next to him and poked his shoulders.

"Y-Yara? What are you doing here?" Fives wondered, cocking his head to the side.

"Echo wants to talk to you," she smiled “besides, I sleep here too, you know."

"Psh. Yeah,  _ okayyy~ _ I rarely see you in here, kid." Fives teased her. 

Yara grumbled at the nickname,  _ "Heyyy~" _ She warned him. Fives raised his hands innocently and scooted off the bed, chuckling as he did. 

"Is he outside the door?" Fives asked, staring at the door.

"Yeah, he's out there," she bobbed her head. "He wants to talk to you somewhere private."

"Okay. Well, if you want to come with then you can, although I am guessing Echo just wants me to be there?" Fives shrugged.

"Yeah," she said, laying on her bunk above Chae, "good luck."

"Thanks," Fives smirked, before heading out the door. It opened with a 'whoosh' letting a small amount of light to skitter across the metal floor that's never been comfortable to sit on. 

Outside the room was Echo, leaning against the wall, and looking away from Fives when he realized he finally came out of the room. 

Fives frowned. "You're mad at me, aren't you?" he spoke, crossing his arms.

Echo bit his lip. "No. No, I am not mad at you." 

Fives rested his right hand on his hip, shifting all of his weight onto his left leg. 

"Well, would you like to explain to me what's wrong? I won't judge you, Echo." Fives smiled softly. 

Echo closed his eyes and tilted his face towards the ceiling. "Remember that time on Rishi Outpost, where Cutup, and Hevy, and Droidbait were killed back there?"

"Yes, yes I do," Fives grimaced slightly. A nightmarish evening indeed.

"I kept having nightmares about that incident," Echo sniffled. "I tried to forget it but it kept coming back."

"Oh, Echo. You could've told me that you were struggling. I would've helped you." Fives stared at him with sympathetic eyes.

"I didn't want to burden you and Yara."

"You could never burden us, Echo." Fives offered a loving smile. His arms came around Echo's waist and he pulled him into a hug. 

"Geez, Echo. You are far from being a burden. I don't want to ever hear you assume that again, okay?" Fives squeezed him.

"I didn't want to look like a coward," he cried. "I didn't want you to suffer as well." 

Fives' right shoulder became drenched with warm, salty tears. He moved his hands up and down the tense muscles in Echo's back; attempting to calm him down, to no avail. 

Echo shook with each quiet sob. 

"Shhh. It's okay, vod. I know, I know," Fives cooed, rubbing Echo's back up and down. Echo shivered in his hold and continued to cry. 

"I am a mess." Echo hid his face in Fives' shoulder, trying to escape from the outside world in his protective hold. "I don't know what I am doing anymore," he whimpered. 

Fives looked around to see if anyone was in the halls before he slowly unwinded himself from holding Echo close to his chest. 

"Okay, I'mma take you outside. We can sit right outside the barrack doors so you can get some fresh air." Fives brushed a hand across Echo's face to wipe away some of his tears, which were quickly replaced by more tears.

“It’s raining,” Echo pointed out.

Fives smiled. “I heard. You love the rain though, so what’s stopping you?”

“Heh,” Echo smiled sheepishly, “Nothing.”

Fives, with a smile back, jabbed his thumb down the hall in the general direction of the hangar bay. “Ready?”

Echo bobbed his head as he got up from his spot and headed down the hall, and eventually outside, hoping no one noticed them. It was no longer raining—one of those quick storms that rained heavily and then disappeared within 15 minutes or so. The air smelled of atmospheric, thick ozone. Echo takes a deep, steady breath, and sighed. Fives breathed with him, they made eye contact. The two smiled at one another before they sat down on the concrete ground in front of the establishment. Fives kept an eye on his brother the entire time. 

There was a long period of awkward silence. Then Fives broke it, "So, talk to me." He smiled.

Echo took a subtle breath, before continuing, "The nightmares on Rishi. It kept playing in my head."

"How so?" Fives asked.

"I kept dreaming about it," he told him. "Sometimes, whenever I hear loud noises, it brings me back to the outpost."

"Ah," Fives gave it great thought before continuing, "It sounds like PTSD, Echo."

"I guess," he hugged his knees tightly.

"It's okay, Echo. I have nightmares about that mission from time to time. I hate having them though, same as you." Fives stared at the ground under his feet. 

"I know. Yara told me about her nightmares about Rishi as well. But I wished it would go away."

"Me too, buddy. Me too. But I think it'll only go away or start to go away if we stop being afraid of what happened and embrace it. Maybe we should allow what happened to make us better, as individuals, and as soldiers," Fives suggested with great thinking. He sounded wise at that very moment.

Echo shrugs with uncertainty. "I guess, but I keep feeling guilty for not saving the others."

"Echo, you couldn't have done anything. 'Bait, he was taken from us before we even knew what was going on. He was outside when the droids struck," Fives grimaced, thinking about what happened to their youngest vod. "Sadly, there was no way we could've prevented that."

"I know, but I still felt bad for not saving him." Echo’s gaze was cast downward.

"Echo..." Fives brought him close to his chest and hugged him tightly. "I understand you feel that you've failed them. I do all the time, being the second oldest in our squad; I felt it was my responsibility to watch over all of you." Fives gritted his teeth and inhaled softly, a shuddering breath that rippled through his tired muscles. It felt like he was trying not to cry himself. 

Echo gasped under his breath and stared up at his older brother. 

Fives gazed at the shining moon above them. "I don't want to fail anyone else like that ever again. Now all I have left is you and Yara. So, I want to do everything I can to make sure you two are happy. Please, tell me how I can help you?" Fives sniffled, yet no tears fell.

"Could you hold me tightly and tell me everything will be okay?"

"Yes, yes of course," Fives whispered, his arms wrapping around Echo's waist and tucking the top of his head under his chin. "Everything will be okay, vod. I am here. Yara is here. We won't leave you, ever. You hear me?"

"Yeah, I hear you," Echo nodded weakly.

Yara slowly walked out of the facility on their blindside and sat down beside Fives. 

"Yara?" Fives questioned, startled by her sudden appearance. He didn't even know she was there until now. 

Their sister smiled. "Sorry, couldn't stay away for long," She chuckled wetly, tears crawling down her dark-skinned face. 

Fives and Echo both smiled to themselves.

"Lately, I couldn't sleep at all so I thought hooking up would wipe the pain away, but I was wrong."

"You are having nightmares too?" Fives asked her. 

She nodded, frantically wiping her tears. "Yeah, I keep having nightmares too."

"Geez, guess we are all screwed, huh?" Fives chuckled to himself. 

Yara sat beside Fives and tucked herself into his side, sniffling every so often. "Yeah, I guess so," she chuckled along, before wrapping her arms around him tightly.

"Well, we can be screwed together, and we'll stick together till we are all feeling better," Fives suggested with a small smile.

"Yeah, sure," she nodded, holding Echo's hands.

Echo giggled, "Fine. We'll be screwed together." 

Yara giggled with him, followed by Fives with his deep, baritone chuckle. They all stared up at the stars and moon, silent, close, and together.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed the story!! - Angel
> 
> Thank you for those who enjoyed our story. We worked very hard to make this happen. -Eva


End file.
